A woman’s open letter to her “bullying” and “narcissistic” parents in which she uninvites them to her wedding went viral in a big way after she posted it on the social networking site Reddit.
Alyssa Pearce, 23, from Adelaide, Australia, shared the un-invite on Reddit ahead of her wedding to Alex, 28, last year and it has since been shared many thousands of times. In her original Reddit post, Alyssa who goes by Skitzocat, wrote:
So my narcissistic parents abused me for 16 years before I ran away from home. Now they’re trying to bully their way (via family, they haven’t bothered to speak to me personally) into getting an invitation to my wedding. There was really only one way to respond.
1. This ‘un-invite’ has gone viral in the run up to wedding season, it was posted to the social networking site Reddit by a woman who said she was fed up with her ‘bullying’ and ‘narcissistic’ parents.
Alyssa, a PhD student studying Applied Linguistics, then shared an image of her wedding un-invitation printed on mottled paper in black type (see above). It reads:
Together with our friends and family, Alex and Alyssa, would like to invite you to suck it and bask in our happiness, your bitterness and our mutual irritation at each other’s existence, as we completely ignore yours and celebrate our marriage without you.
There will be a lovely ceremony, followed by cake, food and general merriment.
And you’re not invited to any of it.
Because f*** you that’s why.
In her comments, Alyssa, who married Alex, who studies World Politics and International Relations and French, revealed that she had not had any contact with her parents in seven years.
2. Alyssa and Alex share a kiss on their wedding day after happily marrying without her parents there.
She explained that she ran away from her home and alleges that before that her father would use her as a “punch bag”. Explaining the situation, Alyssa wrote:
It’s the first time I’ve contacted them of my own accord. My grandparents keep pushing me to meet up with them and play happy families.
It’s been 7 years since I ran away and I’ve reluctantly met up with them maybe half a dozen times?
But they refuse to speak directly to me, they tell my grandparents what they want and my grandparents pressure me into doing it.
Which up until now I’ve tolerated since it was my grandparents who took me in off the streets. I don’t think I’ll be tolerating their “it’s all your fault, you’re a horrible daughter, your parents are perfect’ crap anymore.”
3. Following their wedding Alyssa and Alex traveled to Thailand where they enjoyed their sunny honeymoon together.
Alyssa told The Daily Mail that after months of harassment from people who wanted her to invite her parents, she finally snapped. She said:
I went home and wrote my parents the de-invitation. I opened up a word document, found the nicest calligraphy font I could, loaded up the printer with some of the lovely parchment paper left over from the other invitations, and wrote.
I then found a nice matching envelope, addressed it with a fancy gold pen, and posted it. I mean, if you’re going to send someone a memorable “stuff you”, you may as well go all-out.
Writing and sending that letter made me feel so much better about all the stress I’d been under. Not only had I refused to allow myself to be bullied into something I didnΓÇÖt want, but I also took a stand against two people that had always haunted me.
While it may have been “childish” and “immature”, it made me feel as if I’d taken back power from the people who had hurt me so much.”
Alyssa revealed that, although there were people who put her under pressure, most, including Alex’s family, supported her decision.
4. Alyssa and Alex look happy at her graduation.
Many Reddit users also sent her their own messages of support. One Redditor, who goes by thing24life, wrote:
Oh you are a complete bada** well done.
Another user, who goes by Bamboo_Razorwhip, wrote:
I love you. I love the anti-invite. I love your bada**ery. Congratulations! Hole your wedding is beautiful!
Yet another Redditor, who uses the handle Tforge13, wrote:
I love you. That’s incredible. You go.
Following the original post, Alyssa shared an update, in which she revealed that her parents had contacted her grandparents, saying that “our relationship [with Alyssa] is now irreconcilable”.
After that her grandparents, including her grandfather who was going to walk her down the aisle, were afraid to come to the wedding, Alyssa revealed.
When Redditors asked what she would do, Alyssa said in a comment:
The aisle is only wide enough for one awesome person, so I’ll be walking myself down :P.
And in a message posted to Reddit just yesterday, Alyssa revealed that she did not let her grandparents’ absence to ruin her big day. She wrote:
Realising that you’re not alone is the best feeling ever 🙂 And the wedding was amazing!
Alyssa reveals that the wedding took place in a “public garden”, adding that the couple refused to give into family pressure to invite her parents.
5. Alyssa and Alex enjoy their honeymoon in Thailand where they hung out by the sea.
Following the wedding, the couple honeymooned in Thailand, enjoying boat trips, and went to see elephants.
Alyssa originally posted the “uninvite” photo five months ago but it has been picked up by social media in the run-up to her wedding.
Speaking of her surprise that her uninvitation went viral, she said:
I was astounded. I saw that a radio station or two had dug it out of the woodwork a few days ago but I did not think that it would get to be this big.
Especially since it’s been nearly 6 months since the photo was uploaded. I didn’t even think much of it when I wrote the de-invitation, I showed it to family and friends who applauded and asked me to post it on a Reddit forum specifically for people who deal with narcissistic family members.
The messages of empathy and support have simply been overwhelming — Alex and I have been reading comments and we both appreciate all of the support.
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